DON'T CRY FOR ME, ARKANSAS

I AIM FOR THE KEN STARRS BUT SOMETIMES HIT BAGHDAD

Washington Times, 1998

Election eve 1996: US jets fire on Iraqi radar sites

January 26, 1998: President goes on TV to deny Lewinsky affair; sends top officials on tour to build support for attack on Iraq. Warns Hussein not to "defy the will of the world."

June 30, 1998: Judge Suzan Webber Wright orders unsealing of Clinton's Jones case deposition; US jets fire on Iraqi radar sites.

August 20, 1998: Monica Lewinsky appears before grand jury; Clinton attacks alleged terrorist centers in Sudan and Afghanistan.

November 13, 1998: Clinton settles Paula Jones suit for $850,000; Clinton orders, then aborts, massive missile attack on Iraq.

Impeachment eve 1998: Clinton launches massive missile attack on Iraq.

NUMBER OF KENNETH STARR-LIKE INVESTIGATIONS that could have been carried out for the price of the first day's assault on Baghdad by Tomahawk missiles: 7

THE CLINTON ADMINISTRATION fired more missiles at Iraq in three days than during the whole first Gulf War.

MONICA MATH FOUND ON THE NET When one mentions the word coincidence, he is entering the field of statistics. Two pivotal events: 1. Monica testifies. 2. House votes on impeachment.

These pivotal events are not related to bombing runs. In the same year as the two pivotal events we have two bombing runs. Sudan-Afghanistan and Iraq.

Odds of one bombing run occurring on a pivotal event day: 91:1 Odds of both bombing runs occurring on pivotal event days: 66,248:1

Proof: Odds of one bombing run happening on one of the pivotal days-- The first bombing run would have a chance of 2 in 365 or 2/365 and if it missed the second bombing run would have the same chance of 2 in 365 or 2/365. the two chances add together 2/365 + 2/365 = 4/365. this reduces to 1/91.25 or odds of 91:1.

Odds of both bombing runs happening on the two pivotal days-- The first bombing run has to occur on one of the pivotal days which is a chance of 2 in 365 or 1/182. The second bombing run then has to occur on the remaining pivotal day which is a chance of 1 in 364 or 1/364. It is 364 because the first pivotal day is now out of the picture (n-1). Since the two events depend on each other happening to occur together, they multiply. 1/182 X 1/364 = 1/66,248 or odds of 66,248:1.