Wednesday, December 24, 2008

CHRISTMAS STOCKING STUFFERS FROM THE BRITISH MEDICAL JOURNAL

British Medical Journal - One of the reasons why Coca-cola is not an effective spermicide is because sperm are faster and may reach an egg in time to fertilize it, says an expert in the Christmas issue published on bmj.com.

The author, Deborah Anderson, a professor in obstetrics and gynecology at Boston University and Harvard Medical School, writes that Coca-cola douches were allegedly used during the 1950s and 60s as a contraceptive when other methods were not easily available. The acidity allegedly worked as spermicide to kill sperm and the classic coke bottle shape lent itself to a "shake and shoot" applicator!

In this analysis, Professor Anderson provides eight reasons why you're better off not reaching for a Coca-cola after sex, unless you want to drink it:

1. Coca-cola is not very effective in killing sperm. 2. Sperm are faster than Coca-cola and could escape douching and reach the cervical canal. 3. Coca-cola may be good for tenderizing steaks and removing corrosion from car bumpers but is not good news for vaginal tissue. Coca-cola damages the top layers of cells and could make a woman more prone to sexually transmitted infections. 4. The good bacteria that keep vaginas healthy could be adversely affected by coke and this could result in fungal and bacterial infections. 5. Douching could lead to pelvic inflammatory disease and ectopic pregnancy. 6. The Coca-cola formula is a secret so this means no research has been done on whether it would cause birth defects. 7. You need skill to douche effectively with Coca-cola - not practical, especially in the dark when bottle caps can go dangerously astray. 8. There are much more effective and easy to use methods of contraception around.

Head banging increases the risk of head and neck injury, but the effects may be lessened with reduced head and neck motion, head banging to lower tempo songs or to every second beat, and using protective equipment such as neck braces, finds a study in the Christmas issue.

What began in 1968 at a Led Zeppelin concert with fans banging their heads on the stage, has developed into a collection of distinctive styles including the up-down, the circular swing, the full body and the side-to-side.

Anecdotal reports of head banging induced injury include hearing loss, stroke and mild traumatic brain injury, but there has been little formal research into head banging.

Declan Patton and Professor Andrew McIntosh from the University of New South Wales, analyzed the injury risk from head banging and examined possible ways to protect against these injuries.

The researchers attended hard rock and heavy metal concerts including Motörhead, Ozzy Osbourne and Skid Row, and identified that the up-down style was the most common head banging technique. They constructed a theoretical head banging model of this popular style to examine the effect the range of head and neck motion has on injury severity. A focus group of ten musicians was used to calculate the average tempo of their favorite head banging songs.

The authors found that there is an increasing risk of neck injury beginning at tempos of 130 beats per minute related to the range of motion in the head banging style.

The average head banging song has a tempo of about 146 beats per minute. The authors suggest that at this tempo head banging may cause headaches and dizziness if the range of movement of the head and neck is more than 75 degrees. They report that at higher tempos and greater ranges of motion there is an additional risk of neck injury.

So could someone render themselves unconscious while head banging? Unlikely, say the authors, unless they are banging their head on the stage or connect with someone else's head.

And what of two of the most famous head bangers, Beavis and Butt-head? When head banging at a tempo of 164 beats per minute to "I Wanna be Sedated" the range of motion of Beavis' head and neck is about 45º, say the authors, so he would be unlikely to sustain any injury. But the news for Butt-head may not be so rosy. Preferring to head bang at a range of motion of 75º, he may well experience symptoms of headaches and dizziness.

Luckily, there are a number of possible ways to protect against these injuries, write the authors. These include calling for bands such as AC/DC to play songs such as "Moon River" instead of "Highway to Hell," public awareness campaigns headed by musicians such as Cliff Richard and the labeling of music packaging with anti-head banging warnings.

4 Comments:

At December 24, 2008 7:54 AM, Anonymous Mairead said...

Are you sure you didn't find these in the Journal of Irreproduceable Research??

 
At December 24, 2008 8:33 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

AC/DC did not do Highway to Hell...

 
At December 24, 2008 10:49 AM, Anonymous Jack Collins said...

Yes they did:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Highway_to_Hell_(song)

 
At December 24, 2008 1:15 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We Don't Give a Fuck
DMX

 

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