UNDERNEWS

Undernews is the online report of the Progressive Review, edited by Sam Smith, who has covered Washington during all or part of one quarter of America's presidencies and edited alternative journals since 1964. The Review has been on the web since 1995. See main page for full contents

May 22, 2009

BREVITAS

MID EAST

Reuters - The U.S. administration of President Barack Obama will not force Israel to state publicly whether it has nuclear weapons, an Israeli official said. He said Washington would stick to a decades-old U.S. policy of "don't ask, don't tell". Obama's bid to curb Iran's nuclear programme through diplomacy has stirred speculation that, as part of a regional disarmament regimen, Israel could be asked to come clean on its own secret capabilities. But a senior Israeli diplomat, speaking after Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu held his first summit with Obama in Washington this week, said: "This has never happened, nor will it happen with this administration."

STUPID SCHOOL OFFICIAL TRICKS

WPXI - A Linton Middle School teenager has been expelled after a random search turned up an eyebrow shaver in her handbag. Officials at the Penn Hills school recommended at a Wednesday disciplinary hearing that 15-year-old Taylor Ray Jetter be expelled for the rest of this year and 45 days next year.Jetter said she doesn't consider the eyebrow trimmer a weapon. She fears expulsion will hurt her chances of becoming a nurse-anesthetist. She's a Girl Scout and a member of the school's basketball team, choir and leadership team." I don't consider it a weapon. . . A district spokesperson released a statement that said, "We had been asked strongly by the community to have a standard disciplinary policy that addresses all students equally and applies a standard disciplinary code and that is what we have in place."

POLICE BLOTTER

FDL Reporter - Someone donning an ape costume entered Kwik Trip at 1123 W. Johnson St. late Wednesday or early Thursday and took the banana display, said Fond du Lac Police Department Capt. Steve Klein. Two similar attempts, one early Wednesday at the Kwik Trip on North Park Avenue and one Tuesday night at the Johnson Street store, were unsuccessful. "We got a couple of calls last night that he was out and about again," Klein said. "We still haven't corralled the ape man." A witness told police the costumed crook got into an older white vehicle driven by a woman. Another man was in the backseat, Klein said. The witness said the man and woman were white and about 24 years old. Klein said police are not sure what the "ape" is up to. It could be someone pulling a prank or making a video for the Internet. While the crime may seem harmless, police are concerned about what people who witness this may do and about the perpetrator's true intentions.

3 Comments:

Anonymous they're all terrorists said...

We had been asked strongly by the community to have a standard disciplinary policy that addresses all students equally and applies a standard disciplinary code and that is what we have in

May 22, 2009 6:20 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Re: Israel's nukes... are we supposed to imagine/believe that Mordechai Vanunu just cleverly photoshopped his pictorial evidence?

May 23, 2009 12:20 PM  
Anonymous m said...

I am surprised that the random handbag search didn't lead to a strip search on the grounds that it was likely that amongst other armaments the girl was hiding, was an M1A1 Abrahams tank in her underwear.

May 24, 2009 11:46 AM  

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