american
notes

GREAT MOMENTS FROM 'THE WIRE'

THE VISITOR - "In a sense, "The Visitor" is about the global econ professor bonding with the illegals, but the movie's not a tract. It's really about how people can come into our lives, change them, and leave. This is a film of our times - paranoid, heartbroken, disillusioned - and the rare recent American movie whose characters react the way actual people might." - Wesley Morris, Boston Globe

CATHERINE RUSSELL: "After listening to a continuous stream of releases by purported rising jazz singers - who couldn't have lasted through a chorus in a contest with Ella Fitzgerald or Betty Carter - it's a delight to hear the real thing in Catherine Russell. . at the center of gravity that has always kept the music alive is 'the groove' that Cat Russell embodies." - Nat Hentoff

THE MYTH OF THE GREATEST GENERATION

POWER POINT KARAOKE CATCHING ON

IF LINCOLN HAD JUST HAD POWERPOINT

All power corrupts; Powerpoint corrupts absolutely - Edward Tufte

AMERICAN SNAPSHOTS

AMERICAN SNAPSHOTS

EIGHT ARTISTS CREATE SECRET APARTMENT IN SHOPPING CENTER PARKING GARAGE

WHAT IT TAKES TO BE A FARMER

[Your editor recently uncovered in a forgotten file this wonderful description of what the disappearing craft of being a farmer is about. I was blessed as a young man to have worked on a farm and with farmers and as I reread this I was reminded where some of my sense of the possible comes from. I was also reminded that when I wrote the "Great American Political Manual," my editor at WW Norton apologetically told me that one of her colleagues had expressed fear that "repair" sounded too much like work. "Oh, that's right," I replied. "You folks in Manhattan don't repair anything; you just call the super."]

KW CARTER, MAINE TIMES 1974 - It will take a third of a lifetime for a man to learn the many and diverse skills necessary to enable him to survive while producing beef, potatoes, milk or what have you. He will, when he has attained competence as a farmer become expert in all of the following fields plus a great many others which I have not mentioned.

He will have a working knowledge of plant and animal nutrition.

He will be an efficient rough carpenter,

He will be a competent lumberman and woodsman.

He will be a veterinarian of sorts. ,

He will have the skills of a mediocre housepainter and electrician.

He will .have a working knowledge of many kinds of machinery and be a more or less skillful mechanic.

He will know how to dig a well, wall up a spring, lay a .waterpipe and do some rough plumbing,

He will ,learn how to predict the weather with greater accuracy than the U.S. [Weather] Bureau or he will be in deep trouble.

He must have some knowledge of accounting or the government will nail him to the cross the first time he makes any money

He must know how to build a barbed wire fence, corduroy a road through the swamp, butcher a hog, salt his sowbelly and raise his beans; how to deliver a cow of her calf, how deep to plant his beet and spinach seed, build a scarecrow to keep the crows out of the com, and shoot the foxes, racoons and squirrels that eat his poultry and raid his garden; he will learn to hang an axe, file a saw, shingle the barn, install lightning rods, repair the mowing machine, cure cannibalism among the chickens, and make a brine to cure his ham and bacon. He must learn to handle a dangerous bull or get gored in the process.

He must be capable of conning his banker out of a loan when things are taught, which they certainly will be; and he will learn [guile] when dealing with those who buy his produce or they will skin him alive and nail his hide on his own barn door.

This is perhaps ten percent of the skills he must learn to survive, None of them require any enormous intellectual capacity, but he will be years learning them the hard way

BEER CAN HOUSE

1500 LIBRARY OF CONGRESS PHOTOS FROM A HUNDRED YEARS AGO

ALTERNATIVE TEN COMMANDMENTS

WHAT DOES THE KILLING OF CAPTAIN AMERICA MEAN?

Huge gallery of comic book covers

NEARLY TWO-THIRDS OF TEENS NEVER WEAR A WATCH

MARTHA IRVINE, AP - Market researchers say more people are carrying electronic devices that also tell time, whether a phone, an Ipod or a Blackberry. They're also finding that young people, in particular, are more interested in spending their money on other kinds of accessories, such as shoes and hand bags. In a survey last fall, investment bank Piper Jaffray & Co. found that nearly two-thirds of teens never wear a watch - and only about one in 10 wears one every day. Experian Simmons Research also discovered that, while Americans spent more than $5.9 billion on watches in 2006, that figure was down 17 percent when compared with five years earlier.

PEOPLE - INCLUDING CHILDREN - TOO BUSY TO USE THEIR BACKYARDS

JANET EASTMAN, LA TIMES - A new study by UCLA. . . show that neither parents nor their kids are enjoying much time of any sort, much less leisure, in their yards. Anthropology professor Jeanne E. Arnold, lead author of the study that will be published in the March Journal of Family and Economic Issues, says that Angelenos put a lot of money into making their yards attractive and entertaining. "They are a buffer of green" from the outside world, she says, but "backyards might as well be blocks away considering how often the families go in them."

Of the families with working parents and school-age children monitored for the study, more than half of the children didn't spend any playtime in their backyards and most parents only wandered briefly there to perform chores: take out the trash, feed dogs or wash off chairs. "Occasionally a kid would kick a soccer ball but it wasn't for too long," says Arnold. "We admire backyards from inside the house or in our mind's eye, while we're busy doing other things.". .

TEEN TEXT MESSAGES 6,800 TIMES IN ONE MONTH

MARGARET WEBB PRESSLER, WASHINGTON POST - Last month, Sofia Rubenstein, 17, used 6,807 text messages, which pushed her family's wireless bill to more than $1,100 for the month. She couldn't believe the Last month, Sofia Rubenstein, 17, used 6,807 text messages, which pushed her family's wireless bill to more than $1,100 for the month. She couldn't believe the "incredible" number she hit. "It's whatever pops into my head. There's no stopping it," she said. "Sometimes I'll be on the phone with someone and I get texted, and then I'm having two conversations at once."

Sofia will be working in her parents' retail store this summer to pay off her debt -- but she definitely won't be the only teenager paying for text abuse. . .
Families who carefully researched their wireless plans to cover calls with no extra fees are discovering, to their horror, that their thumb-tapping teens have found a new way to blow the budget. In Sofia's case, her parents' plan included only 100 free text messages a month -- fewer than half of what she was using every day "at all points of the day" -- and she racked up massive per-message fees fast.

GALLERY OF PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE NOTES FROM ROOMMATES AND CO-WORKERS

CHAPEL MADE OF FOUND OBJECTS & OTHER WONDERS IN RIVERSIDE, CA

GHOST TOWN GALLERY   ABOUT THE TOWN

 

WORST ALBUM COVERS OF ALL TIME

 

WHO NEEDS THE SOPRANOS?
THE BOSTON MOB IN REAL TIME
ALMOST KILLED POPULAR TALK SHOW HOST


At left is the way Boston might look if the ocean rises about 10 feet; at right is New Orleans with a three foot rise in ocean level. A gallery of cities under water

CELL PHONES, ATLANTA

PORTRAITS OF MASS CONSUMPTION

This collection of demonic kids scarfing down food in 1950s advertisements is notable not just for its artistic content but as a reminder that the efforts by the food industry to stuff our children is not a new phenomenom. What's particularly interesting is that the percentage of junk food seems strikingly lower: kids are being urged to drink Campbell's Soup [above], non-sugar enhanced cereals and so forth. Some academic might wish to compare the relative number of pitches for normal and junk foods today vs. fifty years ago.

 

SOON TO GO


THE ETHNOGRAPHY OF MALE HUGGING

DOUGLAS BROWN DENVER POST - The hug, long reserved for women, celebrating sports victories, and men from other countries, is muscling its way into everyday American Guydom. . . Men accustomed to the automatic and dependable hand clasp accompanied with a brisk up-and-down pump at dinner parties and college reunions, now must preface their greetings or goodbyes with intricate and split-second calculations based on body language, length of friendship and other factors. Do I shake or do I hug?

Making the right choice matters. If one guy goes for the hug, but the other decides upon a handshake, they might collide. An excruciating dance will follow, as the poor lads work feverishly to determine what to do with their hands, their arms, their bodies.

Memories of the previous disaster will haunt all following encounters. It's possible the fellows will even dread socializing, for fear of the paralyzing hug decision.

Former Denver City Councilman Ed Thomas, a big hugger, says rules are few when it comes to the man-to-man embrace. Just don't take a hug too far, he warns. "If a hug becomes a mug, then you've got problems. You just have to know what that line is.". . .

He's an unabashed, eager hugger, but he's no Norm Early, former Denver district attorney and now private businessman. Early is "the hug captain of the world," Thomas says. "When you get around that guy, he takes the cake. There's no two ways around it." Soon after becoming district attorney, Early recalls, "I remember when one cop said to another, 'You might as well go over and hug him because he's going to get you sooner or later."'

Early advocates the full-on bear hug. He does not feel compelled to demonstrate his masculinity by slapping his partner's back mid-hug. He does not shrink from the male hug during introductions.

GREAT MOMENTS IN ELECTRONIC FETISHISM

SANDY FERNANDEZ, WASHINGTON POST - In a world where, everyday and to no one's surprise, zoned-out iPod wearers unconsciously block the center aisle on the Metro, cell-using cabbies barely acknowledge backseat passengers and business execs lunch "together" while clicking away at their BlackBerrys, it might seem as if there are no frontiers left to cross in the digitizing of America.

But you'd be surprised. There's a not-so-subtle shift going on, a migration beyond the cars, buses, subways and streets. A few examples:

Amazing Scene One: A businessman e-mailing from a table isn't even worth a second glance these days. But how about a businessman spotted, as one recently was, typing on his Blackberry while using a public urinal? That's good for hours of water cooler conversation.

Amazing Scene Two: This past Wednesday, a man was fatally stabbed in front of a New York restaurant. A witness who saw the blood-soaked victim lying on the sidewalk was quoted as saying, "People were just walking by with their iPod headphones on." . . .

Amazing Scene Three: A colleague recounted watching a bakery clerk struggle with a malfunctioning cash register and ask for help from a co-worker at the same counter -- unsuccessfully, it turned out, because the second woman was chatting away on her cell. "It's $8," the cell-phone user yelled before going back to yakking. Unfortunately, that wasn't the question that had been asked. The first cashier shrugged her shoulders apologetically and said, "She doesn't like it when I interrupt her call."

GARY IMHOFF, DC WATCH - It was in the men's restroom in Macy's at Pentagon Fashion Mall. From one of the stalls came the unmistakable sound of violent projectile vomiting. A few seconds later, a cell phone started ringing in the stall -- and the man inside answered it. "Yeah, hi," he said. "No, I'm just upchucking. Hold on." He vomited some more, then continued his conversation. "Something I ate last night; I think it was the fish," he told his caller, and then talked a few seconds until he had to regurgitate more.

 

HOW TO TALK BOSTON

JOHN POWERS, BOSTON GLOBE - If you want to talk like us, just open your mouth and say "ah," as if you're at the doctah. As in: "Nomah hit a homah!" We save the Rs for words ending in A, like Chiner. It sounds b'zah, but remember, we're not the ones with the accent. We've been here since 1630. John Winthrop dropped the R into the Hahbah one day on his way to the State House and we didn't find it until the Big Dig.

So when we say pasta, we mean the priest who runs a parish. When we say pahster, we're having it with clam sauce. Buddah is what we put on con. We have suppah during the week, but dinnah on Sunday. Eating and drinking, we'll admit, can be a challenge in what you call Beantown. (We don't call it that, by the way.)

INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY UPDATE
BAND NAMES THAT HAVE
ALREADY BEEN TAKEN

[Just a few from the A-B part of the list]

A Box of Fish with Tartar Sauce
A Boy Named Gomer
Above Average Weight Band
A Cat Born In An Oven Isn't a Cake Accidental
Adult Children of Heterosexuals
Afghanistan Banana Stand
Aggressive Crotch Display
Aha, the Attack of the Green Slime Beast
Albino Toilet Boys
Alcoholocaust
Alien Nymphos from Uranus Alien
Anal Beard Barbers
Apocolypse Hoboken
The Archbishop's Enema Fetish
Armpit Arthur Loves Plastic

Bad Mutha Goose
The Band Formerly Known As Sausage
A Band Named Bob
Bearded Clams
Beats the Hell Out of Me Beef
Ben Wa and the Blue Balls
Bertha Does Moosejaw
Big Balls and the Great White Idiot
Big In Iowa
Bionic Roomate
Black Leather Agenda
Black Leather Jesus
Body Falling Down Stairs
Boiled Angel
Bolt Upright and the Erections
The Bourbon Tabernacle Choir
Brady Bunch Lawnmower Massacre
Bullwinkel Gandhi
Buddy Wasisname and the Other Fellas

DOWN AND OUT IN PALM BEACH